Him

I miss him so much. When i thought of staying single I dint realize the world would be so tough and mean. Half the men want to date you or sleep with you if you dont belong to anyone else. Why??
I miss him so much. I dont know whether he would have protected  me or not, but his mere presence might have effected so much. I dont think he might ever believe in love or its alliances. I wouldnt even force him to. The world has made it impossible to believe in someone else except in your own. I wish he was here just so that I could tell him how much I love him through my eyes, my lips wont budge before him. :). They refuse to say anything. I wish he would hug me like he used to. Just hold my hand and talk.
Miss him every minute.
Love him as I breathe.
Is it bad to let someone live.?? Sometimes I wonder why does the world have to be so cruel. I lost the chance to be loved by someone because someone else broke his heart. What mistake was on my part? I dont knw about the hearts I might have broken.
Oh lord please forgive me for the hearts I might have broken, knowingly or unknowingly.
Love is not complicated. No. People are. Their thoughts are. I understand that he might not trust me. But he talks to me. That alone lets me live with peace. When the realization dawns that I have him as my friend, I feel glad. I dint realize I could love somebody so much. How can I??
I knw I just want him as my friend. I knw we can never be together. This fact breaks me quiet many times, But it seems m some sort of phoenix or something, I rise from every broken piece to lead life in the same way back again. Loving him and never expecting anything.

20 March 2010

Today is no significant day or something, the title is so because I didnt find any, and the ones I thought I dont feel like writing so.
I want to talk about this one guy....
The one guy.
He might have been loved by many, I might have been loved by many but strangely I feel the world dissapearing when he is any where around. I forget everything.
Yes it happens to all in love, I know.
Does he love me??? No he doesnt. :). No M not upset about it.
M happy he knows that I love him and the fact that he recognizes my love for him. U might be wondering to ask me if I plead him to make him stay wid me and all. No I dont do that. He has complete freedom to talk to me when he wants and stop talking if he doesnt feel like.
I do a lot questioning and inner - reflecting often. I talk to my conscience.
I pondered upon it for long as to why do I give him such importance when I have guys asking me out daily. Am I inflicting pain on me sometimes ?? May be I am but after I cry, I realize that one sensation which tells me I had the chance in this life time to give my love. How many can love and give themselves away without expecting ?? may be a few.... and much more than this I feel he can talk to me whenever he feels so, I can be with him.
He makes me realize how much I love him the moment I talk to him.
How strange...I meet hundreds in a day, yet those pair of eyes are the ones that are in my mind all the time,.. I might listen to a million voices, but that one voice makes my lips curve into a beautiful smile.
Love is a huge risk, you might give out something with the risk that it may never be returned.
I met him 5 years ago.... with no expectations of being in love with that beautiful charmer.
We had situations and he hated me for no reason for 3 whole years as I was told....
How I fell in love with him.... Ohh its a long long long story.... and not of much significance,,, ever.. It wasnt a fairytale love story...nah!!
Today he is somewhere.. there is a lot of distance.. yes it does matter sometimes, but yet whenever m able to support him , it seems as if all the distance disappears and I can support him.
He told me , that if I love him, i'd end up in despair.. strangely it doesnt matter. I wonder why.
Some questions are better left un- answered. :) ....
I dont say this to him whenever I want to...So just wana say it to him through this....
I love you,.. and may be I always will,..No this is not a promise just that I know this somehow.
I wanna support you as long as I live :)

Tumhari Deeya

Ya its a Indian name. M an Indian.
I belong to a middle class family. My purpose of starting this blog is tell you about my life and the world around it. How various experiences have let me be what I am today.
I am a student of Journalism.
No I wont post in usual journo stuff or anything....at least not interested right now.
This is for blog one. Welcome to the world through my eyes...!